That was the only word that escaped as Manky and Russ’ mouths dropped agape in unison. The look of surprise was quickly replaced with one of bewilderment as the teeth in their gears of cognition grinded into place, like a learner driver desperately trying to locate first.
“But…but?” they spurted out, like synchronized swimmers.
“No buts,” boomed Micka, “you guys are our second entry in XRCC. Harley and I will compete as usual, and then we will take the photos while you boys drive.”
The look on their faces soon brightened up at the thought of being centre stage…and then it hit Manky in the face like a wall of smoke. Eyes wide open and hands held high in protest, he declared, “I’m not driving. I’ve seen him fall off cliffs and go mank!” he said, pointing all blame squarely at Harley. “Russ can drive and I’ll spot. Micka hasn’t rolled over once yet and he is the spotter,” Manky winked. Russ, still very much stuck in bewilderment, could only stand there in silence as Dave dug him in deeper.
“Then it’s settled,” concluded Harley, “Russ will drive while Manky spots. Now lets get this buggy back together…I’m pretty sure we need more than 3 wheels to drive these courses.”
And so the rest of the evening was spent repairing the broken swivel housing and high steer arm as Manky and Russ kept everyone entertained and hydrated with Bundaberg’s finest. The new parts from M & M Custom 4x4 Engineering had arrived, as promised by Gonads, and after sorting out some other dramas, the buggy went back together without a hitch. And this time, a Micklicious Diff Protector was custom-made to fit the ’60 series Cruiser’ pumpkin.
XRCC head honcho and all-round top bloke, Dave Metcalfe (MMM), had stumbled upon a cattle property out near Stanthorpe that allegedly had a few rocks. Knowing MMM’s penchant for understating things, along with Stanthorpe’s reputation for growing apples (and bloody big rocks!), the Rock Hammer boys knew that this event was one not to be missed. So with the families packed into Harley’s new GU Patrol, Russ’ 60 and Micka’s Defender dragging the buggy atop the Rock Hammer Trailer, the whole crew headed out to see what MMM was getting his knickers all twisted about.
It didn’t take long to find out.
If the competitor’s weren’t bug-eyed and catching flies in awe, their faces were spread in an evil grin from ear-to-ear. MMM had found some of the biggest rocks this side of Uluru. Some of these granite monsters would dwarf the average million dollar home in Ascot. It really is a sobering experience to see the work of Mother Nature. These rock formations would be tens of thousands of years old and the sheer size of them is mind blowing. All hidden from the world in a little cattle property near Stanthorpe.
DAY 1
Course 1
MMM would have been like a kid in a candy store amongst the massive rocks that he had found. In terrain like this, setting courses for 2 classes of vehicle is not as easy as it looks. Making it challenging for the Outlaw buggies and keeping it driveable for the modified trucks is a real art, and MMM got it pretty well spot on. The first course of the day was a looping track that rose up over a 1 metre shelf, went along a gorge and dropped into a hairpin tight left hander before coming to a down hill, steep off-camber right hand turn. After this, up and over another big break-over into a sharp left hand u-turn that led to a panel-crunching squeeze through two big boulders. Then it was back uphill and around to the gorge and a 1 metre drop-off to the finish line.
Harley and Micka were the first of the Rock Hammer entries to tackle Stage 1. With only 2 reverses and no cone penalties, the weekend was looking like a good one for our heroes.
After watching close to everyone else attempt the course, Manky and Russ swapped cameras for helmets and headsets and buckled up for their first ever competition run. Nerves were evident as their adrenal glands pumped gallon after gallon of ‘hurry up’ into the pits of their stomachs. With Russ barely able to see over the ‘Big M’ (Micklicious front end modification), it was up to Manky to be his eyes and do all of the talking. Talking has never been an issue for Dave, but with his mouth as dry as a nun’s…well, lets just say he was really nervous, ok?...his usual non-stop verbal barrage had slowed to more of an occasional grunt with copious amounts of arm-waving and Captain Jack Sparrow-style prancing about. If an orchestra had been in front of him, they would have had trouble keeping up, but whatever it was that he was doing, Russ certainly spoke the language fluently, because the boys of ‘Stoned Brothers Racing’ absolutely tore the track apart. Reverse front digs, 3 wheel turns using the cutting brakes, panel crunching over rocks…the boys had it all and looked more like seasoned professionals than competition virgins. They finished the course with a nano-second to spare and with Manky dripping with sweat and drowning in excitement, the boys had done themselves proud.
Course 2
With Micka and Harley top scoring on course 1, they were told to line up first for course 2 by MMM. A quick and casual look over the set out revealed no real problems for the boys, and they lined up to give it a red-hot go. The first gate was over a good sized boulder with a nasty break-over angle that threatened to slide the buggy down onto the cone. A bit of right foot needed and Harley was all too willing to comply. With the rumble of the Rover V8 bellowing out of the Brisbane Exhaust Centre custom pipes, the Rock Hammer buggy launched up and over the granite without troubling the scorers. This led to an interesting drop off a large boulder and in between two perfectly positioned trees. The drop was a good one - about 1.4 metres - and the ground fell away so that gravity would naturally force the rear end over towards the cone. Through they went, perfectly. Next up was a boulder that boasted a 50 degree incline with a 90 degree drop on the other side. It was only a car length climb up, but it was guaranteed to have the buggy belly out at the drop. The boys knew from the WE Rock Finals that they would need momentum to clear this one and the first attempt nearly had them through. Reversing down to try again the rear of the buggy was forced downhill a little, so when Micka told Harley to boot it, the boys didn’t realize that they were not quite in the right line. It all ended in tears. Harley had given it enough to clear the break-over, but not enough to stop the rear from sliding over the down-side of the rock causing the big Rock Hammer buggy to lie on its side. They tried to roll it back on its wheels – like they did in the WE Rock Finals – but Harley’s ‘Gecko Grip’ must have been out of order. DNF for course 2.
Again, Russ and his new side-kick Manky watched most of the others attempt the course before jumping in the Rock Hammer buggy for their assault of course 2. The big gas-fed Rover V8 fired into life first go – a tribute to the awesome gas-carbie set up that Gas Research Australia fitted – after the roll. They rumbled up to the start gate and leapt straight into it. With Micka on camera duties, the coveted spotter’s role was all Manky’s, and he worked feverishly to guide Russ around the cones. The first rock was cleared as Russ mashed the right foot against the loud pedal and sailed over between the gate. The drop-off was handled with consummate ease and the second string team were nipping at the heels of the more experienced competitors. Next up was the rock that saw Harley and Micka fail. Russ and Dave had more time to see the approach of others, and learning from the mistake of their Rock Hammer brothers, they took a different line. The break-over angle was still going to cause a problem, but with plenty of arm-waving from Captain Manky Sparrow, Russ somehow understood what was needed and booted to big buggy up and over the rock in the 5th attempt. Gate cleared. With time rapidly running out, Dave signaled Russ over to the next gate which they climbed with all the professionalism of the best US teams, but it was to no avail…time had beaten them. DNF for course 2.
DAY 2
Course 3
Day 2 started off in a mad panic for the Rock Hammer crew. After doing a bush-mechanic fix on a broken universal joint in the front drive shaft, it all had to be re-assembled before start of play. The boys managed to get it all done, but missed out on walking the courses.
MMM asked for some driver input into designing the courses for day 2 and Damien and Tony from Yuri4x4.com stepped up to help. Harley and Micka were called first and after having a quick look and the boys from Yuri4x4 go through, they knew that the final gate would give them grief. Allowing plenty of time to clear the final cones was paramount, and the boys cleared the earlier stages of the course in good time. The final gate however, proved harder than everyone thought. Time got the better of them and despite all of the rock stacking by Micka, Harley could just not manage to heave the buggy through the maze of rocks. DNF for course 4.
Dave and Russ lined up for Course 3 with all of the knowledge at their disposal. Driving like men possessed, they cleared the first few gates and headed up the hill to attack the finish line. All of the flailing about by Manky had caused a problem. “We’ve lost comms,” he panicked, “we’ve lost comms!” By day, Manky is a computer guru who deals with crises far more complex than what he faced. He hacks into locked computers, sets up interfaces and does systematic analyses of multi-layered problems without missing a beat. Now here he was faced with what seemed to be his worst nightmare. “Russ?” he panted as he raced hurriedly about with no real sense of direction, “we’ve lost comms, we’ve lost comms!” Looking down at the Eartec unit and hastily pushing at any button he could find, Dave went into a hyperventilation at the thought of having no communication with his driver. “Russ!!” he cried out, “we’ve lost comms!” He started packing as many rocks as he could in front of the seemingly impassible gorge as the plug for his ear piece swung defiantly in the breeze, mocking Manky’s in built brilliance with anything hi-tech. With dust and rocks flying from the Mickey Thompson Claws, the buggy jumped and bounced backwards and forwards, but the gate remained unconquered. DNF for course 4. Micka calmly went over and plugged it back into the socket. Comms were back.
Course 4
The last stage for XRCC in 2006 was a ripper. Starting off with a massive off-camber rock face, it forced the teams to drive between a tree and a 45 degree side angle to reach the next set of cones which marked out a double ledge climb with a 90 degree drop on the other side. The next gate was up and over another big rock with a big potential for bellying out.
Micka and Harley were again called up before Russ and Dave. Without any time to look it over they decided to “wing it” and basically make it up as they went – sort of like a mystery flight…just hop on and see where it takes you. The first gate was a no brainer – just take out the cone and move on…no need to roll over trying to do the impossible. The Mickey Thompson Claws did their thing on the massive side angle and Harley cleared the tree with ease. Next up was the double ledge. Wanting to keep the front shaft in one piece, Harley ever so gently crawled the front tyres up onto the first ledge before bumping the rear up. As is usually the case with double ledges, just as the back wheels are coming up the first ledge, the front tyres hit a rock face and generally send the vehicle backwards with little regard for forward spinning CVs. The boys had 2 things in their favour in this instance – the Longfield 30 spline chromoly CVs and axles; and the competition spec Mickey Thompson Claws. The “sticky mickeys” gripped the rock face and the Longfield CVs were tough enough to make it all happen. Down the 90 degree drop-off and out over the finish line saw Micka and Harley snare 2nd place and finish the XRCC season on a high.
Manky and Russ lined up just one car after. The look of determination on Manky’s face was stern. His precious comms were back and they were looking to better the score of their Rock Hammer Brothers. And they almost did. Picking a better line around the tree than Harley and Micka they lined up at the double ledge with one point advantage. But the inexperience came through and a rock stacking penalty saw them punished at two separate gates. They got through the double ledge with excellent style and pushed on to claim 4th place in a field of competitors that have at least two season’s experience. They had given it a red-hot go, and in the end, a mere 4 points stood between them and a podium finish in their first rock crawling competition.
Well done to all four boys, and a very big thank you to the patient and understanding partners at home who put up with the endless buggy-talk and hours spent working on it.
